There’ve been too many wars in my life. Now love is my last one. And I don’t wanna think about its results. Six or seven months ago another war was finished really bad for me. I lost a friend. And now I have no energy and desire to find a new one. Sometimes she makes me think she still misses me, but… Do I really need her so much? Do I really wanna return everything? I’m not sure I’m ready for a new attempt.

I’ve read too many fanfics about Simon and Kieren since I finished watching “In the Flesh”. Last time I read fanfics was after “House M.D.” ended.

Well, many things have happened for last two months. Now I have a job. Not the job of my dreams, but it’s better than nothing. I stopped going out with the most of my acquaintances. I don’t feel frustrated, no, but I’m not sure I need them to be next to me. I feel comfort when being alone, but not always. I still love spending time with my man. He’s wonderfull.

roses are red
violets are blue
there’s what I believe
and then there’s you

I feel like dark emptiness is trying to grab and eat my soul… Huge black hands embraced my neck and began to squeeze it. I’ve lost something very important but I don’t know what. And my man is far away from me - noone would hide me from my fears.